I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
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My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
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Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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