took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
