Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize