It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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