It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
