ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
