first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
