You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
