apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.