I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
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This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
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She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight