the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?