ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
These Little Things Make People Overly Angry
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
These Medical Professionals Recall the Worst Cases of Hypochondria They’ve Seen
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B