Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
