i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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