dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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