her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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