Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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