Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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