I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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