In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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