OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
