on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize