No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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