you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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