can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
