I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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