I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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