when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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