he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dicks are not precious.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
