So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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