How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
