Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
