He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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