Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
