If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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