Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I need help removing her.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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