So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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