Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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