But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
