Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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