I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
