Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
