i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
