just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
