he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
