Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
