I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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