its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
