i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize