She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
