so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
