I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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