would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
