i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
