I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
