About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
