I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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