remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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