I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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