i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
