Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
