two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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